Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
Today, my teeth feel dirty. Just go brush them, right? Actually, I just did. Thoroughly and meticulously, for several minutes, until both my arm and my gums hurt. Yep, still feel dirty. FML
Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML
Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML
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Top comments
MasterTron 24
Easy breezy cover teeth
Spencyy 18
Are your teeth now well defined?
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Comments (42)
worldclassrager 41
Better than like an acne treatment or lotion...but now I am curious how well that would work swish with make up remover to get rid of it?
rae_siah_3x 17
At least it wasn't a razor.
fuckpotato 12
It's okay... I've brushed my teeth with desitin (diaper rash cream) before.
MrZsDad 19
Quit talking out your ass already. ;)
dirty_dan_ 15
That's ******* disgusting. That shit is near your eye
Misfitsfitin 23
Are your teeth fuller and bolder looking now?
anon19ymous 10
I hope it wasn't waterproof that would suck
MistyKittyx 25
I am sorry you had to go through this, but it can be washed out. No need to worry much.
dispwned 8
Ick. Sorry to hear that, OP. I hope your move goes/went more smoothly than that.
Xion0014 20
Now you can avoid food and coffee stains! That is if it's waterproof mascara xD
chriss2015 13
Never in my 20 years have I done this. I have pulled multiple all nighters and even stayed up 30 hours before. How OP??