Today, my teeth feel dirty. Just go brush them, right? Actually, I just did. Thoroughly and meticulously, for several minutes, until both my arm and my gums hurt. Yep, still feel dirty. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML
Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML
Today, I decided to finally bleach my teeth. After 45 minutes of stinging pain, my teeth are still yellow as ever. My gums, on the other hand, are opaque white. FML
Today, I went to my new dentist to get my teeth cleaned. He kept getting distracted, causing him to repeatedly stab me in the gums. He then had the nerve to tell me that I need to brush more, due to how I was bleeding just from his "routine examination". FML
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, after a childhood of battling bad teeth and cavities, I'm an overzealous brusher. I found out that I have cavities in all quadrants of my mouth from over-brushing, which will need multiple appointments to fill. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML
Today, I'm in pretty good physical shape. No, wait, that was two years ago. Now I need to take a break after brushing each quadrant of my teeth because my arm gets tired. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
Are you sure it isn't your tongue?
Mrs.Rabbit 6
i do oil pulling when my mouth feels nasty. I also brush with baking soda sometimes to get the fuzzy feeling off.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
They're not literally dirty, they're just metaphorically dirty. You know what you did with that mouth of yours and you won't tell us.
Mrs.Rabbit 6
i do oil pulling when my mouth feels nasty. I also brush with baking soda sometimes to get the fuzzy feeling off.
GoogieWithers 25
Are you sure it isn't your tongue?