Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML
Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
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Top comments
bombtastic 10
Damn. So much for being nice. Kids these days..
cmtxbe 6
I don't know man. I'd be freaked out too if some random man (who I happened to be eye to dick level to) poked me with something hard...
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Comments (156)
bexxiiee 11
I don't blame her tbh, a stranger offering candy? Why not get down on her level and ask if she's ok?
ThatOneDrummer 8
No normal man offers a sad little girl a Snickers bar unless it has some type of drug in it. I would have suggested giving her a couple dollars so she can buy her own instead of looking creepy, OP.
Karma_Geddon 36
I agree about it seeming strange but offering a little girl money doesn't seem any less creepy to me :/
kirb2154 3
at least you get to keep your candy bar
amifaiyaz 12
well, she was being safe, but seriously..
jjmiller1001 17
good intention, bad way to carry it out though
23Z9TZO 18
Yeah.. don't give random strangers(especially kids)candy, it's creepy. I understand you're being nice and all, but don't you think it would be a bit weird to have a total stranger just give you food for no reason?
Stroke_Her_Ace 15
Unless its Halloween
patrickalamo 48
Ok tell me who didn't see this one coming. YDI
ciaraaahhh 10
Apparently she punches nice people in the balls when she's hungry.
Fluffydemise 18
Kids are taught religiously not to accept sweets from people they don't know, it's certainly what I teach mine. Whilst I'm sure you had the best of intentions with your gesture, you should have had the forethought to realise that the situation may unfold badly. I vote ydi, simply because it should have occurred to you that a small child may find your goodwill unnerving. You didn't deserve the nut shot mind you!
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
Well you did kind of set yourself up