Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML
Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
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Top comments
bombtastic 10
Damn. So much for being nice. Kids these days..
cmtxbe 6
I don't know man. I'd be freaked out too if some random man (who I happened to be eye to dick level to) poked me with something hard...
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Comments (156)
Ferretzsuck 7
It was so easier to get kids back in the days....
blankjack 6
You see someone crying and the first thing on your mind is they want snickers?!
Deviant_fml 5
Doesn't everybody?
HorrorFan13 2
I want one.
blankjack 6
Are you crying? :)
onorexveritas 24
most kids are drilled about stranger danger and crap like that from a young age, its expected
HorrorFan13 2
Snickers guaranteed to satisfy.
conqueror57 11
What is up with people on this site offering candy to unkown children? Have you all been living under rocks and not know this is the archetype of a pedophile? I fully expect an FML soon, "Today I offered candy to a strange kid from my windowless van. She called the cops. FML." Duh.
conqueror57 11
I agree that the news fear mongering has made this seem like much more of a problem than it actually is, but the fear mongering has worked. It is a shame, but it's the way the world is.
passalande 4
Sorry but I Snickered a lil.
Damitol 3
Some days it just doesn't pay to be nice.
OverBlossomed 22
And this is why I stopped being nice to strangers.
madamazinDana45 6
Well she is doing only what she was told
AlexiAwesome 10
Maybe she just didn't want diabetes. It is one of the top killers in the U.S.