Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
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Top comments
slyvanilla_creme 0
You didn't know where your gf's father works? That bites.... Next time, tell him its for sex ed and your teaching kids how to put it on a banana.
Miru_fml 0
"her dads a cashier? he sure got far in life..." @#1: You shouldn't be so ignorant, some people couldn't afford higher education. Or perhaps Kim's dad was an immigrant just trying to establish a life in a new country. It's hard for them.
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Comments (65)
kotikoti 0
exactly what i was thinking^ O_e
finitely 0
Oh my god, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. Sorry. FYL :(
amaury_fml 0
Smooth.
nivyan 0
@ #12, just because you are a cashier doesn't mean you aren't 'better off' or your from a different country- Some people dont like working hard their entire life and spend alot of money- Some people, like myself, is very happy with a middle-middle/lower paycheck and a happy life.
nanner6206 24
Could be a part time job just to give him something to do. Maybe he's rich, retired, and bored.
aah134 0
omg, thats exactly whats happen to all the girls I dated, but with them, because I try not to lie, but if I lied I wuld be happy having a gf
H4RDCOR3GL4MOUR 0
LOLOL GG .
nazooer 11
#9 not funny..
hnnhart 0
http://www.whycindywhy.com/?id=px61j12if8wkd09mr9njjqeam58ds
husk3rfan928 0
Dude, just bullshit him, tell him your friend needed some but was broke or something
Masta_Blasta 0
lol, dont worry. i'm not using condoms when i **** your daughter, with whom i'm together. i use them when i **** other people. u should've just said nothing and stay cool. ydi.