Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
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Top comments
bunnybean12321 18
on the bright side, at least theyre non toxic, so other than a tummy ache, she should be alright
c_wyld 21
I once got sick in kindergarden by eating a whole tube of glue, and then got sick all over my teacher.
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Comments (51)
HappyItalian 38
Give her a little board with chalk to draw with instead. If she decides to eat the chalk, at least it won't be as bad.
Jujuboo_3 25
That'll do donkey.. That'll do.
Skinyrd 17
Wouldn't she have color considering she just ate a crayon?
ba13ydolls 10
Ok, now... How is this an FML? Nothing happened to OP, they didn't have to clean anything up or anything... Just the kid is the one who's suffering.
Cads1 24
How is this an FML. Need more info. Were you in charge, supposed to be watching the child or just a random.
tranced_ 45
Have you tried chalk stick? Bon appetite.
Catlover1130 14
My sister ate crayons when she was younger. My mom would find them in her diaper a little bit later.
SammieIsabella 15
If my kid ate half a crayon, I wouldn't be too upset, since they are non toxic..but I would wonder what you were doing. I understand watching a bunch of children can be bit much, but still.
jtfrisch 22
Crayons are fun because you can color things
brand125 17
nooooo reallllllllllllllyyyyyy?
limegreenpoopie 31
The crayons are usually non-toxic, so hopefully she's all better by now.