Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them, telling them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed because I "haven't gotten laid." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML
Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML
Today, the 8 year old that I babysit every week told me that it was sad that I didn't have a boyfriend while he has a girlfriend. I got burned by a 3rd grader. FML
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
where are the parents?
eddeeezzyy 19
Don't even trip, OP. Sex should be saved for that someone special. Unlike your cousins, who probably have STDs already.
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Comments (183)
samimarie199 22
That's a damn shame. But it could be the parents letting their kids watch rated R movies and not using internet blockers :/
Bumblebrea99 14
Im thinking its more school related.
rocker_chick105 31
My parents let me watch R rated movies when I was young. That's not how I learned about sex. It was definitely from school and other kids.
jazzy_123 20
Smh. Knowing that today kids are talking about things like that is pretty heartbreaking. Tell their parents because they seriously need "the talk". I know I would have appreciated it dearly if my parents bothered to talk to me about sex, the precautions, the consequences and all of that. It's like I've heard people say, "if they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to know", except in this case it seems to have gone past the asking.
maximum119 1
You do realize that the young rate of birth in, let's say, biblical times was based solely on the fact that the life expectancy of people was in the 30s. People would start having children , and many of them, at a young age in hopes that one or two would make it to adulthood. Basing actions in our society on how things have always been is ridiculous.
jazzy_123 20
#79, I completely agree with you. I have many friends who are teen moms who say it's ok since a lot of our parents were teen parents. Today it's really hard to encourage those kinds of actions or make them seem ok because we live in a society where education is taking a big impact in people's lives. How are children going to have children and go to school, or have a job, or take full responsibility without feeling like their parents need to help them? Today people can live past 100, so there's no need for babies to have babies in hope that one or two of them will survive.
carelessxdanger 9
babies having babies. they need some jesus.
MortenM 17
Yea, I'm sure it's better to leave them with the catholic church
SilverFoxx 19
I highly doubt some nonexistent deity would assist in any way with this situation.
Bumblebrea99 14
Thats disgusting behaviour! Tell your Aunty and Uncle to slap some sense into them!
Monii_Harlz 11
^Your DP says enough about my reaction towards this FML and what the generation has come to!
ashleyylove3 22
This is hilarious in a terrible way
redangel2011 12
Sad at how young kids are taught about this but a lot of kids who know about all these type of things are taught by older siblings, movies, x rated magazines or friends. Only maybe 1/4 are taught by parents. Parental lock works to some degree but kids who are determined to get around it will and the parental locks on the internet sometimes block good stuff like research for reports and don't block **** sites.
Macscotty 9
Duct tape is always the best tool for babysitting
ashleyylove3 22
If by "future" you mean "present" then yes, I agree.
Spark_Slicker 19
And just when I think there's nothing more that can shock and disturb me.
NessaMae 19
I would have a nice chat with their parents.