Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jailbot 7
....what? Your mom's assumption is really...random.
Guerilla8 0
"accidentally"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
yourlifesfucked 0
YDI for poor sentence structure! it goes adjective ---> verb not verb ----> adjective. that's awesome tho if your mom is being dumb just tell her you accidentally got preggo. her face will be epic.
ohSNAPyall 27
That's a matter of style. OP was not wrong. However, if you're going to correct someone else's writing, please learn the difference between an adjective and an adverb.
yourlifesfucked 0
ok my bad said adjective not adverb whatever. but that is not a style thing as it is written. w/ the adj after the verb like that it would have to read ran, accidentally, head first. way it is just doesnt make sense.
Trumane 4
you correct the OP and when someone turns around and corrects you you say 'whatever?' lol
yourlifesfucked 0
no i said ur right, numbnuts.
ohSNAPyall 27
Your boyfriend is not very good at giving head.
faxe 0
sounds like you are always eyeing dick yourself.
dabomblyktiktikk 0
uhm... i think its reasonable they think ur bf's abusive because he " accidentally ran into ur face... "
robdoggstge 0
lol ur moms random
loski87 4
"accidentally" huh? that's how it always starts...
campbellshayla73 0
lol that's bad
GrapefruitZoe 0
Haha, I jumped on my boyfriend's back and slammed my face into the back of his head. I had a black eye for weeks. It was hilarious.
Trumane 4
Dont you just love how people jump to all sorts of conclusions based on 2 sentences of information?
no_luck83 0
truer words have never been spoken/typed
Jesus_Owns 0
How the **** does ur boyfriend run face first into u on accident??? He sound ******* abusive
sabatical 0
what are you dating a Bull? why the he'll rams into your face like that, were you waving your red granny panties at him? what the hell is this!!? who am I even talking to?!