Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
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Top comments
jailbot 7
....what? Your mom's assumption is really...random.
Guerilla8 0
"accidentally"
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Comments (90)
sabatical 0
correction who the hell not he'll. oh iPod your so proper I could punch you.
phatdaddy62 23
you don't have to take it
cassie823 0
First of all, how the hell do you accidentally run into someone head first? And how does your mother get "seisure in a park" from a "black eye" it just doesn't make sense.
jassporah 0
How can you be sure that it really was an accident ?
Mimorie17 12
how do you accidentally run head first into someones head.?? lmao.!
tiffyxmac 0
it's possible to run head first into someone on accident. my cousin ran head first into me while we were all playing football once. I ended up with a black eye and he ended up with nothing!! lol but everyone thought I got my ass beat or something
zendaddy0 0
just yell i dident have a sezure it was an acadent get it through your thick skull
DeadxManxWalking 27
boyfriend was running to hug you?
Norrec86 7
"accidentally" Who really does that? Sucks about the black eye thougj
mr_bad_ass_ 0
SHES IN DENIAL