Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
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Top comments
sp00derman 23
well... she's right
B0RN_kRAZY 16
She got that from the Charmin Ultra Plush toilet paper commercials... DUH
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Comments (70)
SomeGuyNamedRyan 2
From Bobs Burgers, I think Gene said it in an episode
SomeGuyNamedRyan 2
From Bobs Burgers, I think Gene said it in an episode
SomeGuyNamedRyan 2
From Bobs Burgers, I think Gene said it in an episode
SomeGuyNamedRyan 2
From Bobs Burgers, I think Gene said it in an episode
manuwish 9
I love your kid :)) she's fun!!!
aspecialspecial 21
That is so cute lol
lifeindafastlane 1
then you got way too much ass hair, maybe you should braid it to avoid the dingle berries
LyricaSilvan 30
Gotta love that lack of filter little kids have. Before they learn how to use tact, they'll spit out any thought that pops into their heads, without realizing why they maybe shouldn't say certain things in public. Don't worry, OP, she'll learn in time. Just be patient and remind her that there are certain things she shouldn't repeat out loud around other people.
BellaJewel 6
Lol wow
koijj 14
your daughter knows what up.