Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Well dang how long did you stay down there "picking up your phone"? Your dad was young once, he is one step a head of you.
datgamerchick 14
"But dad! I dropped my phone in his pants, I swear!"
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Comments (77)
nissan31 2
Lol
danial1214 21
That really SUCKS! Badum tss!
noncomposmentis 6
So what even if you did? It is not out of the ordinary to give your own boyfriend a *******.
RecklessLove 18
No, it's not but, it's also not something your father wants to witness.
Faith_13 3
The father certainly wouldn't have liked to witness it I'm sure but it's not like her dad could do anything after the deed. (if she actually had given her bf a bj) Can't change what happened once it has been done.
Ugi 27
Surely the key question is why _weren't_ you giving him head!?
jelly713 19
I've had my boyfriend tell me to be careful about bending down to reach things in his car so he just picks things up for me if it's on his side. Maybe your boyfriend should do the same?
icepick23 12
If daddy was so disgusted, why was he staring instead of turning away? Just saying...
ravenevercross 19
You might as well start blowing him then if you haven't. Already got caught. Might as well make it true.
KiddNYC1O 22
Pretty sure you gave him a ******** earlier anyways.
hateevryone 15
Well you can imagine how that would look coming from his point-of-view. But prove your innocence.
alialley 10
Yes, because proving her innocence would be a piece of cake.
Obey_StudBoii 23
This reminds me of the lyrics from the song in The Wizard of Oz. "If I only had a brain" lol.