Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Well dang how long did you stay down there "picking up your phone"? Your dad was young once, he is one step a head of you.
datgamerchick 14
"But dad! I dropped my phone in his pants, I swear!"
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Comments (77)
mercsl65 7
Just agree and get it behind you. The more you deny the more he's going to think he raised a little ****-puppy. And next time it's better to have just waxed the cue ball and get accused of it than not waxing it and get accused. Just sayin to go for gold next time. Your man will appreciate and you dad will be right when he thinks of you as a Hoover.
UtterCatastrophe 4
It's her boyfriend, where did you pull ****-puppy from? Correct me in I'm mistaken, but you are allowed to do whatever sexual fantasies you like with your partner. Including giving head in the car, if that is ones thing.
MrWhites 3
Let me see your phone Oh sorry i dropped your phone again. Oh sorry i dropped your phone again. Oh sorry i dropped your phone again. Oh sorry i dropped your phone again. Ahhh NOW GET OUT no one rides for free.
PinkieKeen 20
Stop trying.
Cbizzlez 10
Well your BF shouldn't have had a raging boner if you didn't want your dad to suspect something.
zandalee 20
It could has given OP a black eye!
Enslaved 38
"I swear, it's not what it looks like!" It's almost like a skit right out of a Pink Panther movie. (:
LiterOfCola 16
That's a likely story OP. I guess you picked it up and then dropped it again and then picked it up and then dropped it again... And then you just had to spit really bad when you got out? Wait..
zyzy92 8
You're boyfriend wishes you were giving him head
jdm_powered 6
*Your
aFreedom127 9
Dropped phone...yeah sure!!!
kyfml 1
It only took 10min, I swear!
limitedition 25
That sucks.. Er.. That blows... Sorry OP!
klovemachine 24
Kaboom :)
lilhellian 27
Hey Hey! You're not in the guild..
olpally 33
Just go with it... My dad's got a dirty mind too. He would have thought the same thing. Just laugh it off. :) lol
hockeychicl003 6
it's different for girls. if your dad seen you getting head he'd probably give you a high five but with girls they would get scolded
MKProcks 13
It will be very difficult to change what your dad thinks, but when it happens he will never doubt you again.