Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML
Today, while watching Harry Potter, I realized I don't have any positive memories to be able to do a Patronus Charm. FML
Today, after I got home from school I went to my room to find the maid had cleaned it, also to find a bag labeled "trash" it was all the sketches and paintings I had done in art class, which is my major plan for college. FML
Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
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Top comments
coffeentea 0
I would have done that on purpose.
jackaaa 0
Why didn't your friends take a half a second and say, "Hey, you have a lightening bolt on your face"???
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Comments (61)
left_unsaid 0
zomg that just cracked me up xD You could have used golden pen or maybe yellow marker :O it would have made the lightning bolt look glowy xD or maybe next time try sparkly and glittery gold color, that will prove your encounter with voldy poo xD haha <3
littlepirate_fml 0
#14 is right. Oh, and don't worry, honey. It's okay, if it makes you happy.
k3llyn 0
hahaha i think the lighting bolt is fabulous.
Tardfuck_0 0
HAHAHAHA what a badass. Lmaoooo.
BLoNdii_fml 0
hahahahahahahahaha are you serious?
LindseyKiwi 0
Wear your lightening bolt with pride! I'm totally going to do this on purpose one day.
Tenma_Hakase 0
That BS cheers you up?
marthamydear23 9
yikes. kinda pathetic