Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.
Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
You mean being laughed at for your attempt at seduction didn't turn you on and make you feel super confident? How strange. No wonder he was confused.
mxgirl1998 26
He shouldn't have gotten mad. You deserve better, A for effort!
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Comments (103)
2retz 11
from a man's point of view id be over the moon to have that effort put in. I'm not gonna speculate what the issue could be, but talk to him. might just be a big confusing misunderstanding. best of luck.
Sazzles 17
Exact same thing has happened to me OP. It stings but it's not your fault.
MrBlackledge 12
He was probably so overwhelmed by the sexiness he didn't know what to do and laughed as a nervous reaction...either that or he's gay
MSCCG 16
Hi OP he might have gone to take Viagra. Just sayin'. Have more confidence in yourself!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I had a similar situation with my husband, I showed up in my lingerie, he looked up from his computer said "nice, oh check out this hilarious video!" I was pretty upset and left the room again and changed while he watched the video. Then he got mad because he said he was really excited, but clearly not enough to turn off the computer. He apologized the following day though and felt quite sheepish because what was supposed to be a hot night turned into me snuggling with my pillow in my wooly pajamas.
Sheh_fml 25
He should have seized the opportunity then... If you're excited for something, you don't put it off unless you have a good reason. And browsing the web is never a good reason, because all that time wasting fun will still be there the next day.
SystemofaBlink41 27
So, because he didn't drop what he was doing immediately, it meant he wasn't excited *enough*? I mean, I don't agree with laughing at your wife or really anything that involves being a dick, but that's kind of a very strict outlook. So, if he were to walk in butt naked whille he left behind a trail of rose petals, you'd leave whatever you're invested in IMMEDIATELY without a second thought?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
#68 > Hmm yeah if my husband was pulling a hot stunt like that, I would drop everything I am doing if it doesn't require my immediate attention, ie. having something on the stove or being in the middle of an important phone call. I don't consider watching a funny video on the internet as an emergency so I don't feel I overreacted in the circumstances. But as I said, he realized he messed up and hasn't done anything similar since.
Fairyjoshy 13
*treats wife badly* *wife gets upset* "I just don't get women, man, they're so confusing, it's like they're from another dimension!"
albertozeta_fml 9
I can't understand how in the world a man couldn't feel grateful to his woman trying to be sexy.
dreamful_artist 14
At least you made an effort.
Nordiclifestyle 3
I would have made a friendly laugh too if my girlfriend did that -- out of excitement! "i'm going to get some, ta da daa". And i would be mad too if she changes her clothes back while i was in bathroom getting ready for some action.
Sheh_fml 25
And you wouldn't understand how laughing could be interpreted way differently than excitement?
TipTopCaduceus 11
Aaand you'd be 100% in the wrong if you did nothing but laugh and then leave. She isn't a mind reader.. if you're going to do something like that, how about say "Babe, you look amazing... just give me a minute, I'll be right back."
horneyhic 15
You expect us to be mind readers half the time
limabeans101029 21
53- That's a bit of a generalization, don't you think?
LastResort318 14
The way i read this was that you were all sexy dressed and he saw. Let out a chuckle, went to go get ready for you and was mad that you changed.
superspooky 13
Why does a man need 10 minutes or any time at all to "get ready"? I've never had a man make me wait so he could "get ready for sex." Is he putting on makeup or something?
LastResort318 14
38, he was probably going to get stuff set up for foreplay, or for the sex to leave the room to a different area.