Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.
Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
You mean being laughed at for your attempt at seduction didn't turn you on and make you feel super confident? How strange. No wonder he was confused.
mxgirl1998 26
He shouldn't have gotten mad. You deserve better, A for effort!
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Comments (103)
booze_n_bitches 37
How about nobody gets mad and you just have some great sex instead ;) not all men like the lingerie shebang, but kudos for trying to add a little spice in!
Fairyjoshy 13
Being laughed at for attempting to appear sexy sorta prevents great sex.
nameisname 12
Maybe he wasn't laughing at her to make fun maybe it was like a little impressed laugh that she did this so he left to get ready
buenos24 16
Every guy likes the lingerie shebang
KattHull 8
every girl to ;)
8Dirty1 24
next time you be the man in bed since he's clueless
llalala_fml 19
What does being "the man in bed" mean exactly?
8Dirty1 24
to take control
llalala_fml 19
It's not just a man thing to take control in the bedroom.
WaltzingPhanthom 23
Meanwhile, somebody else in this website is writing an FML about not getting laid enough...
dawood_k 27
Obviously he has something wrong with him. Which male doesn't appreciate lingerie... Sorry OP.
itis409 14
As much as I appreciate lingerie I can understanding where this guy is coming from. I've been married for over 5 years now, and the last time my wife and I had sex was almost 2 and a half years ago. Because of this, I very well may have done the same thing if my wife decided to do something like this. As bad as it sounds I think I've gotten to the point in my life where sex doesn't mean anything to me other than I know my wife can't tell me she's pregnant with my child. Does that sound bad? Possibly, but it's what I've become accustomed to. Maybe he has experienced something similar to my situation?
esemexicano 9
he didn't deserve it
EclipseCandy6 24
There's a compliment in there somewhere
assassinbanana0 20
I doubt there is a compliment hiding in him laughing at her.
melsweet 19
Ouch! Don't be afraid to try again OP - just talk to him about why you felt a little silly! It'll work out :)
usmc_sean 8
"Marriage"
sprints54 19
Probably just had to poop before sexy time shoulda waited longer