Today, the button on my husband's pants popped for the 4th time. I already used the strongest thread and buttons. He's obviously put on some weight around the stomach, but he won't listen to reason and still blames me for my sewing, which is making his pants "turn against him". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML
Today, I leaned over to pick something up and heard a loud "pop" from my waistline, followed by a "clink" on the other side of the room. My pants button had popped off my pants. Time to lose some weight. FML
Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML
Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML
Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself, since they usually last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML
Today, I found out my trousers have actually been slowing ripping on the side, after I'd been boasting to everyone I have lost weight and that, “My trousers are literally falling off me.” FML
Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML
Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML
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Top comments
Genius_Kitty 27
Tell him that his dick is too big and he needs new pants. He will believe you then.
Wizardo 34
Tell Jabba the Gutt to stop eating like a Sarlacc, might help.
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Comments (66)
B00K_L0V3R93 31
I'd tell him to sow his own damn pants! He has two hands. OP, you need to either make him believe he's put on weight or leave him to his own devices. His pants pop again and he continues to blame you he can bloody well sow them himself.
smariem 5
I would just get him a size bigger and take off the size label on his pants and out it on the new pants. he wouldn't ever know and the button wouldn't keep popping.
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
he can sew it himself, you are not his mother
yoda420 5
try dental floss/ that stuff be uberstrong
aeryn97 17
mine has lost weight. he tried on one of his favorite dress shirts and realized it was huge on him. he then accused me of telling the family he was fatter than he was because the shirt had been a gift. I had to point out a year old picture at his mother's house where he wore the shirt and had a huge belly before he'd believe me. lol. I feel your pain.
BloodyGlass 10
Tell him the next time the button pops off, he can fix it himself.
8djht8 19
Umm whenever anyone is in denial science can help deduce the truth. Stand on this scale here and face facts.
The_ghetto_mango 25
That is rude. If one cannot accept that something is happening to him, then he is just moronic.
OneNonSlob 3
pssh, tell him you're going to take a few weeks off cooking while you brush up on your sewing technique. that should do it.
ZirePhoenix 10
fishing line. he'll rip his pants instead