Today, the button on my husband's pants popped for the 4th time. I already used the strongest thread and buttons. He's obviously put on some weight around the stomach, but he won't listen to reason and still blames me for my sewing, which is making his pants "turn against him". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML
Today, I leaned over to pick something up and heard a loud "pop" from my waistline, followed by a "clink" on the other side of the room. My pants button had popped off my pants. Time to lose some weight. FML
Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML
Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML
Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself, since they usually last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML
Today, I found out my trousers have actually been slowing ripping on the side, after I'd been boasting to everyone I have lost weight and that, “My trousers are literally falling off me.” FML
Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML
Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML
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Top comments
Genius_Kitty 27
Tell him that his dick is too big and he needs new pants. He will believe you then.
Wizardo 34
Tell Jabba the Gutt to stop eating like a Sarlacc, might help.
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Comments (66)
minagiv 11
Tell him that he needs to start sewing his own pants, then.
sousaphonist 14
... tell him to buy just one pair of pants the next size up, just as a trial. He'll figure out out.
littlefoott69 14
get him a belt ..he can leave his button undone under the buckle
Bansheefaerie 9
that's when you say "sew it yourself!"
west546 13
Tell him he's a ****.
TheSulkingDead 14
Pretty sure if he said that you were gaining weight because your button kept breaking, you would go berserk.
heyLaddieHey 18
Tell him to sew his own pants.
SecundusSecunda 27
Tell him to become captain underpants, then. It is the only possible solution to this traitorous pants dilemma.
itsthewayitis 10
do your job right woman
bornpatriot 11
He's lucky he's got a girlfriend that sews for him.. You tell him that