Today, the button on my husband's pants popped for the 4th time. I already used the strongest thread and buttons. He's obviously put on some weight around the stomach, but he won't listen to reason and still blames me for my sewing, which is making his pants "turn against him". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML
Today, I leaned over to pick something up and heard a loud "pop" from my waistline, followed by a "clink" on the other side of the room. My pants button had popped off my pants. Time to lose some weight. FML
Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML
Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML
Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself, since they usually last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML
Today, I found out my trousers have actually been slowing ripping on the side, after I'd been boasting to everyone I have lost weight and that, “My trousers are literally falling off me.” FML
Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML
Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML
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Top comments
Genius_Kitty 27
Tell him that his dick is too big and he needs new pants. He will believe you then.
Wizardo 34
Tell Jabba the Gutt to stop eating like a Sarlacc, might help.
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Comments (66)
beeferjay 34
sneak fiber into his food to curtail the belly fat... its science bitch!!!!
tj1540 16
Buy him bigger pants and don't tell him
Distantsoul 8
Yeah because that's not over the top ???
Tripartita 45
Think about it for yourself, OP. What seems more likely? That he gained weight or that you have magical sewing powers capable of endowing cloths with consciousness and malice. Because the latter is seriously awesome.
Dexter83_fml 17
You could accidentally shrink them forcing him to go out and buy a new pair that fit
crackpotL 33
use the pregnant lady elastic band trick.
73012211 17
Op, back it with a smaller button. Makes it a little stronger. That being said, smack him upside the head with some carrots.
xxmollyxx 25
Tell him to sew his own pants?
Slavgaard 16
Use some metal thread... titanium may help!
Arokthis 21
Use dental floss to sew the next button on.