Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
What a prick.
Stumblebum30 5
do you think the world is your toilet? dumb ass
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Comments (140)
Dopeyrox 0
what an idiot. even if all the bathrooms in your house are occupied you take a piss on a cactus?
darkmis1 18
Why were you peeing on a cactus?
CyclonePsycho 1
Okay, so I'm going to ignore the obvious "WHY?!" nagging at the front of my brain for a few seconds. Instead I'm to ask "Why a cactus of all things? Why not a bush? Or grass? Or anywhere that's not near a cactus?"
CallMeHush 1
Once again for those that ask why. If you have a penis the world is your urinal.
macbenz 0
fyl dude.
clockworkrainbow 3
It's a symptom of living in NM... The desert is tough. FYL, dude. I'd have peed on a cactus too if I wasn't a girl. I've seen it happen. Brave girl... Crazy people around here.
Cm4marinebmf 0
Hello
leigh247_fml 0
YDI for peeing outside
xdrumkid101x 0
FYL, but why in the world were you peeing on a cactus?
nicolearredondo 0
Why the hell were you peeing on a cactus?
gigi2009 0
f*ck you.