Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
What a prick.
Stumblebum30 5
do you think the world is your toilet? dumb ass
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Comments (140)
xoxcinderellaxox 0
ydi for peeing in a cactus and not in the toilet.
capthavoc123 0
I have to assume you deserved it since you were apparently at home and peeing outside instead of in your bathroom.
bubber 0
He is a male, therefor the world is his urinal. I have peed in outside in six countries but I have never peed on a cactus. Add that to my list of things I need to do in life. Anyone who said he deserves it is either a woman who has never peed outside or a giant mangina who has never peed outside. Hell I am a rancher and I piss outdside more than I piss inside. Get over yourselves. OP. FYL
spazz666 18
Lol what a moron. I'm a chick and I piss outside. Stop trying to make it sound like you're better than everyone just because you have a dick. Also, you've been to 6 countries and made it your goal to pee outside in each of them? I think the word you are looking for is "states" not "countries". Stop being a prick. That being said, OP damn well deserves this. He missed a perfect opportunity to write his name in sand with his own piss.
Erindub 0
If I had a **** I'd pee on things too. I'm jealous : (
oh_my_damn 0
i am speachless at ur stupidity so i will just say the obvious, ur a dumbass.
Propayne 0
Did it hurt?
kiter147 2
who pees on a catcus???? any way that must have felt soooooooooooo good
Boudewijn 0
fake
Satans_Taint 0
fake but none the less funny!!
joemk2012 0
Bullshit