Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
What a prick.
Stumblebum30 5
do you think the world is your toilet? dumb ass
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Comments (140)
Stumblebum30 5
do you think the world is your toilet? dumb ass
Carnivwhorus 0
You all must be stupid if you mistake misfortune for stupidity. Jesus Christ, you guys act like he ran up to the cactus and decided to hump it of his own accord :-/
ashleynonymous 0
The dog was trying to tell you that you were using his toilet. YDI for not going inside to use YOUR toilet.
shinkukage09 0
Um...why is this a YDI one? He was pissing on a cactus, big frakking deal... I'd say F-OPs-L for that.
krzygrl21 0
Hahaha that sucks, next time use the toilet!
peace7love2FML 0
Well, what if he was driving long distance, and tere WAS no toilet?
I_am_stupid_also 6
Your dog FTW.
xsmiLey_faceex3 0
what does FTW mean?
NoteMyGrin 0
"For the win"
Signposthead 0
Hey he didn't deserve it, in my house we have one bathroom so I occasionally have to go outside. FHL, you guys are pricks(no pun intended)
ergo_fml 13
Why weren't you inside peeing in your toilet?
Elendil_fml 10
Okay, I'll say FYL on this... but why, in the name of God, did you decide to pee on a cactus? At least use a tree. or a bush.
jillz 0
Was it Your cactus?