Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
What a prick.
Stumblebum30 5
do you think the world is your toilet? dumb ass
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Comments (140)
xdrumkid101x 0
@#40, I have peed outside: I do it all the time. but why the hell would you piss on a damn prickly cactus of all things?
oxrox 0
Why were you peeing on a cactus?
jadekp314 0
"Oh look a cactus i better piss on thhat"
luella_fml 0
why in the world were you peeing on a cactus. Don't you have any shame! >: )
cutiepie87 0
YDI for peeing on a cactus.
jaderocks 0
umm..... WHO THE **** TAKES PISSES OUTSIDE?? that's sick....
telfie 0
YDI for living in New Mexico and peeing on a cactus.
Lord_of_Metal 0
YDI man. Seriously. Dumbass.
hellojello11790 0
dude
im_just_fair 0
Really, a cactus ?