Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was OK, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
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Top comments
joshhh11 0
well he did say "it's going to take hours" ;)
3_Kitten_3 0
wow suckedge. He worked himself up so much that when it was time, the pressure was on to satisfy you greatly. Give him a chance, men get nervous too.
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Comments (94)
jpjruler 0
poor basterd... mine can get up to a ******* crack in the wall if I'm not careful lol... that sux though must have gotten nervous lol just coax that basterd out next time lol... if you have to use a flute and like play music till it comes out like a snake outta a barrel XD! lol
Shainax3 0
#15- ur an idiot lmfaoo #17- how was she gonna give him a blow when dt shiit its dead
guckylynn 19
# 20 I think 17 meant suck on him until he gets hard...
fallenangel72 7
Lol ur ******* hilarious. That shit is dead hahaha
omg2010 0
you should have tried to give him a little blow
Jimbo2000 0
so what. just have him go down on you
WHODATNATION 0
did he smoke something before?
zeebug 0
so guys can't get it up if they smoke certain things? really?
WHODATNATION 0
it's actually helping in the first hour and then it goes downhill until the effect is faded out, but probably different guys have different experienses with that.
Rickymonkeypants 0
Today I was flirting with one of my ugly friends to make her feel better, until she decided to have sex. She got naked and said, "Do Me!" I had to lie about "Gitting it up" just so I could get out of there without hurting her feelings. After seeing her naked I think I might be gay now...FML
jpjruler 0
ok dude comon you can't post an fml on an fml just because yours didn't make it lol....
ravensunnyd 0
it's saying it's from the guys perspective
xxrogerthatxx 19
LMFAO!! You made my day!!
Ochi_fml 0
yeah, it might not be a health issue, alot of guys are nervous so it wont get hard.
perdix 31
I love how he said "it's going to take hours" making her think he was going to **** her for hours, when he was really saying she's going to have to wait hours to enjoy his "Two-Minute Drill." Either move on or learn to love sucking on soft meat for a long time. Think of it as making jerky!
iplaylax 0
its like disneyland you wait two hours for a two minute ride
ravensunnyd 0
maby he's gay and doesn't no it yet or has a medical problem
realization06 0
this isn't an fml. get over it he was just nervous.
oldwiseguy 0
V I A G R A : That should give him the confidence he needs!