Today, my sister bought my five year-old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML
Today, I carefully wrapped my nephew's birthday present so it would look perfect. He thanked me, pushed it aside, and spent the next two hours pretending the empty cardboard box was a spaceship. FML
Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, while talking with my sister about why she and her husband never want kids, my own kids kicked a football into the kitchen cabinet, breaking the very bottom shelf, and tipping every plate, dish, and bowl to smash on the floor. My sister just gave me that look, the look that says, “Duh!” FML
Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
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Top comments
MadeOfAwesome 1
I cannot even begin to think of how that might be a good present for a five year old. Your sister fails -__-
baby_love 0
lmfao kids
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Comments (91)
EveryDayJackAss 0
kids do the darnest things!
RubixMonkey 0
i think this was the dumbest gift to give a child. Get a fish for the kid. I don't get why people give their darlings ants and crickets and wonder why they have an infestation later.
n_london 0
dear god, FML has got to be the best form of birth control ever. not that i EVER wanted kids in the first place, but hearing all these endless stories about those vile little creatures and the things they do really cements it for me.
capital_seven 0
Birth control. FYL
unlucky93_fml 0
im sorry to hear that, but those gifts are never a good idea:)
D00d33 0
Hm..im sure that five year is gonna be pretty upset when he finds out he dumped out all the ants. I think you should get some new ones from the backyard. :)
kukopia 0
YDI for not explaining the rules of having an ant farm to the kid AND not knowing your kid well enough to know you can't put an ant farm w/in his reach.
PrinceTwilight17 0
I am pretty sure I wasn't that dumb at 5 -_- Well ants are in a glass cage, what will happen if I tip it up side down IN THE HOUSE?!?!?!?! God what have you been teaching this kid?
aaaaa12345_fml 0
ydi for raising a retarded son
i_stay_anonymous 0
Why IN THE WOOORLD would someone buy a 5 year old child an ant farm?!?!