Today, my sister bought my five year-old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML
Today, I carefully wrapped my nephew's birthday present so it would look perfect. He thanked me, pushed it aside, and spent the next two hours pretending the empty cardboard box was a spaceship. FML
Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, while talking with my sister about why she and her husband never want kids, my own kids kicked a football into the kitchen cabinet, breaking the very bottom shelf, and tipping every plate, dish, and bowl to smash on the floor. My sister just gave me that look, the look that says, “Duh!” FML
Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
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Top comments
MadeOfAwesome 1
I cannot even begin to think of how that might be a good present for a five year old. Your sister fails -__-
baby_love 0
lmfao kids
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Comments (91)
RubixMonkey 0
#9- its not that I wouldn't get the ants off the kid, its that they now have an even bigger ant farm, their house.
jessxoxo28 5
wats wrong with ur sister! she buys an ant farm? she couldnt have just got a puppy? ants r so gross. i agree with #40 (not the part where ur kid sticks his hand in a swarm of ants) get a vacuum. or call an exterminator
nygreenmachine 0
hey Its my bday too :D
Lautaro 0
That's a stupid gift for a kid. Fortunately ant farms don't come with a queen though. If it did, you would be ******.
aksteve 4
Thanks ants...Thants.
breeanna16 0
OMFG its called ANT FARM for a FIVE YEAR OLD is it clear now, MOTHER?!
feed_the_ducks 0
someone had to have known that a 5 year old and an ant farm was a horrible idea
maverick1031 0
I agree with that...
allmidnighteyes 11
Kid was only smiling because he ate them omnomnom
roscolene 1
Ant Farms do not come with the ants. They have sand, the farm, & a card to send in to get the ants mailed to you. So stop being a whiney bimbo & get off your knees.
goopberry 0
uhm. Maybe her sister got the ants and THEN gave it to her nephew? It's not exactly impossible to do that...
ILoveAsianGirls 0
play him off, keybaord cat.