Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I decided to take my girlfriend out to look at Christmas lights and get hot chocolate. While cleaning my snow-covered truck, I slipped and broke three bones in my ankle, and now need surgery. FML
Today, I got a call from the girl I'd really like to date to meet up for drinks. Excited, I walked out my front door, slipped on a patch of ice, and dislocated my shoulder. She won't go out on a date with me now because I "ditched her". FML
Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML
Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML
Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML
Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
That was cruel of her. Is she the Ice Queen by any chance?
perdix 31
So, the Friend Zone looks a lot like the Penalty Box.
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Comments (78)
superadam66 1
I'd be planning sweet revenge if I were you. Bitch deserves it.
bubblefly614 0
She must be cold hearted
CuriousAlien 7
I know this has nothing to do with the FML, but I just wanted to say........ Happy Holidays Everyone!!!
CuriousAlien 7
You know for people that DO celebrate Thanksgiving . No offense.
poindexter25 5
Maybe she should have done it after the ice skating but you can't blame her for running you over it's hard to stop unless your experienced.
RedmontFief 7
Little late for that.
davek 36
She's banging other dudes.
Quiet_one 22
My ex pulled a similar stunt when he broke up with me. We were talking on the phone, he knew I was driving, and he decided to break the news right then anyway. Fortunately I didn't have an accident, but I did come inches away from one. We don't speak anymore, but not for his lack of trying. And apparently my not wanting to be 'friends' with him after he endangered my life hurt his feelings. Uh...what? Maybe these two should get together and inflict their crappy timing on each other.
chippa 24
He didn't "endanger your life." You did. YDI for talking on the phone while driving!
Quiet_one 22
It was on speaker- both of my hands were on the wheel at the time. It was an old flip phone, so it was really easy to use just two fingers to flip it open and hit the speaker button without ever taking my eyes off the road. Regardless, I told him I was driving, he even asked me how far from home I was, and he decided to drop the bomb then anyway. So, yes, we were both at fault and if I had had an accident I probably would have gotten a ticket, but if he had waited 15 minutes for me to call him back like I first asked it wouldn't have been an issue at all. Obviously I learned my lesson and I don't answer the phone while I'm driving anymore.
chippa 24
My apologies.
outoftown 27
Another reason why break-ups and blades do not belong together. Sorry, OP. Hope your heart and lacerations get better soon.
wrestlingtrojan 4
Lawsuit dude i mean she screwed you now screw her
KM96 24
Awwwww