Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
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Top comments
HannahMarshall 6
Mario Kart is a serious game.
ILoveEggnog 7
I didn't know it was legal to marry ten year olds.
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Comments (191)
FMLeveryday50092 6
Rule #1: never let the guy lose.
nevershouttami 11
What a horrible excuse.
bv2332 10
If you don't let your husband beat you at Mario cart you are the biggest bitch ever
Lucky7Samson 10
That dude is hilarious. And apparently awful at Mario Kart.
Mortoli 30
Owowowowowow
Mortoli 30
Lol when he finishes before you yell I'm the best like they do in the game. Lol
SiraSiemens 21
i hope you are really really good at mario kart cuz if not he's the one who should be punished
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Mario Kart. Destroying relationships since 2017