Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering, "That's what she said!" during the eulogy. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML
Today, I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was ruined by an annoying little kid repeatedly talking over the pastor, who didn't pause for anything, no matter how many times his parents told him to stop. The complimentary lunch was horrible, and the hearse driving him to the cemetery got into an accident. FML
Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "Bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML
Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
Today, my (now ex) best friend wore funeral attire to my wedding, and instead of a speech, she gave a eulogy, making it sound like my new husband had brutally murdered me. FML
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Top comments
greeneye_fml 12
Did you try holding your breath to stop the hiccups? Works for me. But yeah its not like they're voluntary. That sucks.
rokemay 10
It sucks that you had the hiccups but you should have quietly excused yourself and left
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Comments (185)
Birdie_Sage 0
What the hell... You could've left immediately to get a drink or something. Every 5 seconds of squealing is going to ruin a funeral...
carolineaxoxo 1
You coulda held your breath or left the room.. YDI
carolineaxoxo 1
You coulda held your breath or left the room.. YDI
PiXiq111 11
How dare you get the hiccups at the funeral!!!!! You insensitive bitch!!!!
robinhood007 9
She could have left the room...moron....
BunBunBabe 8
They were probably a lot more stressed and upset than they were letting on about the funeral and probably just taking it out on you because they couldn't control her emotions
kenzie101 6
That sucks! :/
cuddlebunny3548 11
She's just sensitive. Can't you understand that? Her mom just died for goodness sakes.
Skyanne 11
While I completely agree with her being sensitive, do you really expect the OP to not take offense to the accusation of ruining her friend's mother's funeral? I'd be completely embarrassed and offended, regardless. OP was there to show support, not sabotage everything. :/
robinhood007 9
It's called common curtesy...leave the room until they stop...
badactor009 0
Yes, her mother just died and her friend, too dazed and confused to just excuse herself, sat there during the entire eulogy and hiccuped away like an idiot.
daffyduck16 25
Wow. That sucks op, but her mom did just die..
jelmermcgee 8
What is it with idiots who can't hiccup quietly? Close your goddam mouth and you won't squeak like a ******* mouse.
tymarie2012 31
I squeak with my mouth closed when I hiccup.
t765234 10
That doesn't always work, I have very violent hiccups that are loud regardless of what I do. Don't call someone an idiot when you're just making an ass of yourself.
Whydoyouask 11
You sqeak? WTF??? I have never heard someone squeak with hiccups before, and I know I can't judge based soley on my past experiences....but you just sound obnoxious. Iwould have stepped out sooner if I knew I was being really loud
GothicAngel17 24
I squeak when I hiccup, and so do most of the people I know. It's not obnoxious if it can't be helped. YOU sound obnoxious, just saying. And by the sounds of things, if she had left the room her emotional friend would have reacted even worse. Why so judgmental for?