Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering, "That's what she said!" during the eulogy. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML
Today, I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was ruined by an annoying little kid repeatedly talking over the pastor, who didn't pause for anything, no matter how many times his parents told him to stop. The complimentary lunch was horrible, and the hearse driving him to the cemetery got into an accident. FML
Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "Bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML
Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
Today, my (now ex) best friend wore funeral attire to my wedding, and instead of a speech, she gave a eulogy, making it sound like my new husband had brutally murdered me. FML
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Top comments
greeneye_fml 12
Did you try holding your breath to stop the hiccups? Works for me. But yeah its not like they're voluntary. That sucks.
rokemay 10
It sucks that you had the hiccups but you should have quietly excused yourself and left
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Comments (185)
ICATiger 13
Her bitching must of scared your hiccups away.
DocBastard 40
The best method to get rid of hiccoughs is to spin around 27 times while drinking a pint of whole milk. Not that 2% shit!
Mariebaz 11
No, DocBastard is usually a genius.
mk58 31
Oh look, we have a newbie who doesn't like DocBastard apparently.
DocBastard 40
Honestly, I don't really give a rat's ass if bungholio69 likes me or not. His username (combining a Beavis and Butthead term with '69') shows me that he has the mentality (and probably penis size) of a 9 year old.
Mariebaz 11
As I have said, DocBastard is a genius. If only we all could be this witty, our world would be MUCH more interesting.
Comet_Candy 23
Trust him, he's a doctor!
badactor009 0
Works well at funerals.
MsMeiriona 2
Whole milk should be used in all cases.
perdix 31
What did she mean "tried" to ruin the funeral? You succeeded! No one was thinking about the mother during the eulogy, they were focusing all of their attention on you. Way to steal the spotlight from a dead woman, you attention *****!
immaMonsta 8
Right, because you can control your hiccups. FYL for having a friend that doesn't understand that.
22cute 17
You can control your behavior if you're an adult you leave stupid.
twilightluvr101 4
@ #4 enlighten me, tell me how celebrating someones life after they have gone is overrated, when all of that persons loved ones get together to remember the good times with that person so maybe some of the hurry with mellow. For,some people a funeral is a way of paying respects to someone for the last time. yes, Clearly its overrated.... Dumbass.
TheCaterpiller 6
9 - lol
shovels 0
What makes you say that?
rubberduckie94 13
Apologize to your friend sincerely, then send an actual card through the mail that expresses your sympathy for their loss and write out an apology again. Your friend will come around. Be there for them as best you can. The death of your mama really messes with your thought processes and emotions. Be patient.
12dcevin 5
Respect your friend, her mom just died
karkid619 8
Doesn't mean he has to be a dick about having hiccups.
Ameel_fml 19
#38: Yeah, but they could have respectfully left before the hiccuping became annoying. If the hiccups were actually distracting the service itself, then yeah, it's pretty rude to not leave.
Epichearts 2
Nicely tell her that you cant exactly control hiccups, & that she needs to find a better outlet for her emotions. Taking them out at you is stupid.
badactor009 0
Bad advice