Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my phone received a text which rarely happens. While getting my phone, I stubbed my toe, just to see a message from a telemarketer. Now my toe hurts and I didn’t even want what they were selling. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Today, my phone started ringing in the other room. I ran to go pick it up, tripped over my coffee table which gashed my leg, and knocked over my brand new 50" LCD TV, which broke over my head. Turns out it was a wrong number. FML
Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML
Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
I don't want to be mean....but this is what cordless phones and cell phones were invented for....
Mikuo 0
I hate telemarketers. FYL
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Comments (63)
lostfaithinpppl 19
Hahahaha. That's why you take the phone into the bathroom with you.
Mx_Rider 6
sigh all u guys actually believe this persons series of unfortunate events. op ur lame, go run into a knife
stonehjo 0
LOL, now you have shit all over your couch...idiot...cordless phones and really when your expecting a call from your mom you shouldn't be rubbing one out...
Kelishas 9
I hate that..though my trip ups to get the phone have never been as dramatic as yours
cthulhu1138 1
Most phones are cordless nowadays, so bringing it with you into the bathroom wouldn't be too difficult.
Byrnevictim 0
He didn't say he shit all over the floor. He's not that ******* dumb. And who the **** listens to a telemarketer? You either have caller ID or tell them to go **** themselves and hang up. OP is a whiney bitch.
nikerush2 0
Sounds like a repeat?
iSmellNice 2
Uhh, cordless phone much?
DynamicDave 11
And you want to be my latex salesman...
roflcopter423 0
why would the op even bother answering the phone? if I'm in the bathroom and somebody calls I calmly finish my business and then c who called and call them back