Anonymous
How deep is it?
Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Pizza > Love
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Musicfreak
United States
Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
Big Baby
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
atsukobo
United States
Old habits die hard
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
pistonchamp159
United States
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
ohfantastic
United States
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
lol112
Monroe Township, United States
Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML
D Flower
Chicago, United States
Serial killer vibes
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Top comments
156496845646 5
Maybe not take what someone says in their sleep soo seriously...?
acmariner99 25
At least he didn’t call you Jabba the Hutt.
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Comments (13)
Robert Ike Williams 4
Maybe you should cook more often...🤷🤷🤷
julfunky 29
Why can’t he?
156496845646 5
Maybe not take what someone says in their sleep soo seriously...?
kfchicken 31
I don't think this is meant to be a serious fml to be fair.
EmDizzle2007 28
bold assumption.
acmariner99 25
At least he didn’t call you Jabba the Hutt.
Brightside86 31
Sounds like you need to up your sex game. Do it now before he compensates with too much pizza and gets fat. clock is ticking! Only you have the power to save your marriage from the Hut.
bl3ur0z3 17
Omigod, he's having an affair with Puzza Hut! I mean, it's better than being in love with Papa John's, but still. Pizza Hut is such a home wrecking *****. That's why we don't order from there anymore.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Maybe he's trying to replace "honey" and "sweetie"?
TheGestalt97 12
Pizza > sex, but even so it’s probably just a dream and it doesn’t mean anything
Nate_1966069869 2
Keep him.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
At least he didn't say another woman's name. :D