Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my husband was coming back after three weeks away for work. I was ready to surprise him when he walked in, but the cat took a foul shit in the litter box and the smell stressed me out so much that the first thing he heard was, "Clean the cat box!" FML
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Top comments
xxkimmyt 9
Maybe that is why I woke up.
krysxkatastrophe 14
That's actually really funny. At least he peed in the litter box instead of the floor.
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Comments (81)
unknown_user5566 27
Maybe your hubby will think twice about stumbling in too drunk to find the bathroom next time! I think your cat just recognized he was being a dumbass, and decided to correct the situation on its own terms. ;)
seasonedtoast 19
Once my boyfriend peed in my sock drawer. Be happy it was maintainable.
martin_martian7 11
Don't ever mess with a cat litter box!
djoiced 6
isn't it more like, **** his life? instead of yours
22cute 17
HDI
waffle3z 6
Yes.
roshae_16 11
Fhl for having a dumb bf
shawnaishere 14
The cat thought your husband a great lesson. Next time he'll be careful of where he pees.
Shadomasta 5
I always knew cats used telepathy! Excuse me while I state intently at my kittens for hours.
number_1_newf 3
Heard it all the way too Canada
FML_14u2c 14
Cats are protective of their litterboxes! Haven't you seen Scary Movie 2? When the cat found out that Cindy pooped in his litter box, it was on. Her comment was "Help, my pussy's gone crazy!" (If you haven't seen it, it's on YouTube under "Scary Movie 2 Cat Scene".). :-D
False_Stupidity 42
Am I the only one imagining that the body part that the cat decided to claw was the OP's hubby's privates?
spazz666 18
No, I imagine the cat saw something that slightly resembled a cat toy. Easiest for it to bite. I don't even want to imagine how much that would suck ._.
mayyberry 4
I think this is more of a **** His Life more than yours
thiscrazything 1
Cat score 1, husband 0.