Today, I proposed to my girlfriend but she refused. Why? Because instead of asking her, “Will you marry me?” I asked her to “be my wife.” She flew off the handle because “my wife” suggests she would be mine, like ownership, like domestic slavery. I don’t want to marry her anymore; she’s nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML
Today, my fiancée is convinced that I just want to marry her to get a green card, so she doesn’t want to marry me anymore. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I'm madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?" After seeing it, she locked herself in her room and cried for hours, exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I'd invited my entire family. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, I proposed. She immediately said no and then broke up with me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
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Top comments
stickyface 17
Better that you found out now than later. You would have been miserable walking on eggshells. Find someone who doesn't look for offense everywhere.
JackWood 21
I'm guessing that she didn't say yes, so you're off the hook. You should celebrate!
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Comments (6)
Rake 18
No she is not nuts, she just want equal relationship. It's not a matter of slavery it's a matter of respect. Maybe you should talk to her about how you see the role of each side and how it should work together.
Justkidding100 41
you're right! SHE should have talked to him instead of making a bat shit assumption. she would have been his wife even if he agreed that she was in charge of literally everything. her loose understanding of language is the problem
DLBL 23
So when I say, "My Mom" it means I OWN my mom. When I say, "My boss" it means I OWN my boss. When I say My Neighborhood it means I OWN my neighborhood. Got it.
stickyface 17
Better that you found out now than later. You would have been miserable walking on eggshells. Find someone who doesn't look for offense everywhere.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Pity I could only 'like' this once. Find you an easy-going, fun girl who actually wants to 'be your wife'.
JackWood 21
I'm guessing that she didn't say yes, so you're off the hook. You should celebrate!
Brightside86 31
Sounds like she just wanted to say no but is blaming the word choice, because it's easier than saying she doesn't think of you as marriage material.
cpguru24 18
Dodged a bullet. Celebrate.
L0life29 6
bullet dodged (slow clap)