Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
elainelovesyou 7
Just give her a new one.
DocBastard 40
Pick your battles. She will forget about it soon. But the more you push, the more she will push back and the longer she will remember.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
AEverydayDouche 1
It´s just a toothbrush, if it´s the first time she pulls something like this just buy her a new. Telling her that she won´t get a new toothbrush might not be the smartest idea, I don´t know about you but brushing my teeth wasn´t the thing I looked forward to the most when I was 5, she probably end up not brushing them at all. If you think a toothbrush is to expensive or if you want to make a point you can always refuse and force her to watch "The Dentist", she will brush her teeth until her gum starts bleeding, but that would just be bad parenting.
cptmorgan15 2
I don't know why, but those extra spaces in between the apostrophes are killing me. Stop!
AEverydayDouche 1
We all need a little bit extra space, don´t we?
vikingunicorn 1
@ #57, It looks odd because those aren't apostrophes, they're acute accents.
shinydragonmist 0
she just does not want to brush her teeth now go on the intrrnet find some of the more "extreme" pictures of want can happen to people who do not brush their teeth print them out show them to her and explain about them. she is going to have to learn about it sometime anyways so why not now.
angel2184 7
take her to the store, get her to pick one out then get her a special tooth brush holder that covers the bristles( can be found at any dollar store ) if you involve your child it works better
aback 5
About time to start parenting that brat.
hellosir23 0
put your child up for adoption.
kykyshay 0
good excuse on her part...
iFuxxkMyyLyfe 0
that isn't bad. just beat her with a pillow while she's sleeping. she'll stop
deejay7220 1
I thought everyone knew that they will not let you fly if it expires within 6 months, regardless of how long you are going. Maybe if you looked into it more this wouldn't have happened.
Miss_Birthday 3
Well its possible that she lost/broke her toothbrush and wants to avoid trouble by making a bad lie like that. Ask her where her toothbrush is and where the dog is. If she can't answer then don't get her a new one. This isn't an FML so I can't say YDI or FYL.
kaitlynFail 0
So get the kid a new toothbrush.