Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has been seeing another woman and my 16 year-old daughter once caught them while I was at work. She didn’t tell me about it because she was enjoying all the hush gifts, shoes, purses, and the payments for her BMW X3. FML
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Today, I was reduced to a blubbering mess at my baby shower. My mom bought tons of clothes, bibs, etc. Sounds nice right? Well, they all had sayings like "Daddy’s Little Princess" and "Daddy’s Girl." She knows full well my fiancé quit his job, changed his number, and disappeared without a trace 3 months ago. FML
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
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Top comments
dramakat11 0
Omg that is hilarious. Really insensitive though. I mean, that's true of a lot of children but that's not a nice thing to broadcast, you know? But maybe he's a great dad and just has an outrageous sense of humor.
mohit88 0
He wins u married a funny guy LOL
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Comments (163)
dameretiannaa31 0
haha,he is a keeper.im gonna add this to my favorites XD
Mag_The_Chodja 0
That's ******' awesome! xDDD Go dad! It's a bit messed up, but that's why it's funneh.
Hockey_Chik 1
That's great, hahahaha!!!!
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for not putting a Clay Aiken shirt on your kid.
flyingtoasters 0
Your obsession with Clay Aiken is disturbing, please get help.
tpag3r 0
i agree
scarlett29 0
That's hilarious!
irishlassie731 0
Lmfao that's frickin hysterical.
OneandOnlyOne 0
Wow, your husband is a huge pig. I wouldn't let him be with my kid again, he obviously doesn't want her.
mrssuarez2011 12
Agreed
Morqan_Freeman 14
It's a JOKE bet you get pissed off when you take ***** cause it smells.
youngboss_fml 2
u have a kid, a nice husband, but fyl for bein stuckup and having no humor...
iGreen_Day 0
She probably laughed after. I would have had her reaction too though :/ PS: Your husband... have fun with him for the rest of your life ;)
always_his 2
I once saw a baby in a onesie that said, "I am proof that the pull-out method does not work." Tacky trend indeed.
DameGreyWulf 1
Actually, I think it sounds like a great sort of trend. Awareness that these contraceptives won't always work, so be careful. But they sound like they're enjoying the daughter, so not necessarily a fail child. FYL OP.
Ox_Baker 0
They used that in a Roseanne episode, the one where Becky asks Roseanne and Jackie about birth control. Becky: How about the rhythm method? Does that work? Roseanne: Ask your brother.
phantom11 0
Maybe I'm misunderstanding your post, but the rhythm method is not pulling out...
mattmag 0
I thought women were supposed to value honesty in men.