Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has been seeing another woman and my 16 year-old daughter once caught them while I was at work. She didn’t tell me about it because she was enjoying all the hush gifts, shoes, purses, and the payments for her BMW X3. FML
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Today, I was reduced to a blubbering mess at my baby shower. My mom bought tons of clothes, bibs, etc. Sounds nice right? Well, they all had sayings like "Daddy’s Little Princess" and "Daddy’s Girl." She knows full well my fiancé quit his job, changed his number, and disappeared without a trace 3 months ago. FML
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dramakat11 0
Omg that is hilarious. Really insensitive though. I mean, that's true of a lot of children but that's not a nice thing to broadcast, you know? But maybe he's a great dad and just has an outrageous sense of humor.
mohit88 0
He wins u married a funny guy LOL
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (163)
thesearefunny 0
LOL WIN
silverspire29 2
Not an FML. Its just funny
lovely997 0
That's hecka cute. Haha
junomcguff_fml 0
Ignore all those stupid jerks who says that he is the best Dad and/or husband ever. They are probably immature 14-year-olds. I think this is something you need to have a long talk with your husband about, and if he can't take the talk seriously, make the bed a banned area for a week or two ;)
perfectwinds 0
That's actually one of the worst things you can do in a relationship. And I think he's hilarious and I'm a mom, so no not everyone rooting for the dad is an "immature 14-year old." She doesn't need to have a talk to make him see this more seriously, she needs to see it LESS seriously and pull the stick out of her ass. It's FUNNY!!
Puolukka 4
I can understand that she would be upset, especially if her daughter is NOT the result of failing birth control. Maybe the daughter was planned by both of them...then I would be slightly upset too if he puts her in a shirt that suggests the baby was an accident. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but I also wouldn't find it funny.
themoodyronin 14
Talking is one of the worse things you can do in a relationship...?
perfectwinds 0
No, withholding sex is.
Sanrio90 8
Are you serious? Have a "big" talk over a damn t-shirt? This is why I can't stand women sometimes, they're over dramatic and humorless. >_<
perfectwinds 0
I'm a woman and I found it absolutely hilarious. Not ALL women are uptight bitches... Just most. =P
amonymous1234 0
This sounds fake. I couldn't find any t-shirts that say "birth control fail" anywhere online.
hahah567 0
hahahahahah this is one of the funniest FMLs i've ever read!!!! your husband is hilarious!!
Ox_Baker 0
I believe we've established that.
kangaroo62 2
learn to get a sense of humor stupid bitch this is funny
Nakedsquirrel 5
Your husband should be high fived and you should get a sense of humor.
ayashe 2
I feel sorry for you, more because of all the creeps on here than the actual FML. FYL though.
sugar_407 0
haahahaha this is great. that does suck though