Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has been seeing another woman and my 16 year-old daughter once caught them while I was at work. She didn’t tell me about it because she was enjoying all the hush gifts, shoes, purses, and the payments for her BMW X3. FML
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Today, I was reduced to a blubbering mess at my baby shower. My mom bought tons of clothes, bibs, etc. Sounds nice right? Well, they all had sayings like "Daddy’s Little Princess" and "Daddy’s Girl." She knows full well my fiancé quit his job, changed his number, and disappeared without a trace 3 months ago. FML
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
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Top comments
dramakat11 0
Omg that is hilarious. Really insensitive though. I mean, that's true of a lot of children but that's not a nice thing to broadcast, you know? But maybe he's a great dad and just has an outrageous sense of humor.
mohit88 0
He wins u married a funny guy LOL
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Comments (163)
Apples16 0
that's ****** up
DollxFace 4
I want a shirt like that!
mintilicious 0
You should have a shirt that says husband fail but that is still pretty funny.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
It's funny, although I'd like to point out that most commenters just automatically assume the guy is the dad, despite the OP specifying it's _her_daughter, and not _their_daughter, so it's quite possibly not his daughter. With that in mind, it's more of am FML, because it's one thing to joke about your own child being the product of birth control fail (it appears more good-natured/tongue-in-cheek) and a whole different thing to make that same joke about the child your wife has from a previous relationship. Sounds like more of a rejection when it's the latter. Still, I get the feeling from the post that the guy was just having fun, and not really rejecting his wife's child.
perfectwinds 0
I call my son my son all of the time to his dad, it's like when parents say "did you know that YOUR daughter did this at school today?" when in fact it's both of theirs but the establishment of ownership buts an extra emphasis. It's probably both of their daughter but she was putting an emphasis on my because she was upset.
jonny2x4 0
Why is everyone getting their panties in a bunch? That t-shirt is actually funny. In fact, it is pretty modest compared to the others they have on tshirthell.com. The others are so offensive even I don't have the nerve to quote them here. Lighten up people! Get a sense of humor and use it. Life's too damn short.
jc21_fml 1
haha thats one funny dude
yowzerz 5
Quit being an uptight, prissy bitch. That sounds like an awesome shirt, and unless you actually planned on having the kid, isn't that exactly what she is?
akkid17 0
no less than absolute win
Aliaandraa 0
that's awesome
inbar123 0
that shirt is hilarious!