Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
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Top comments
Hunthas 17
That's snot what you want at the end of a date :O
ComoEsJuan 24
You really blew it.
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Comments (57)
sturschaedel 27
Well, if she's still willing to go on another date with you, you know she's a keeper.
Shinybaconplays 17
You could've turned your head to the side and sneezed into your elbow like most people do
MonstreBelle 29
A sneeze is like a fart. Sometimes they come with a warning that allows you to take proper precautions. Sometimes with no warning, usually at the worst time possible. Then there are the startling sneezes that result in fortuitous farts. Those are an entirely epic entity of their own.
janfleury 19
I have thrown up on a guy on the first date. We have been married almost 30 years now. So don't expect the worse yet.
townailz 16
Sticky situation
PePziNL 20
Oh comon you're not even trying.
False_Stupidity 42
That's the most half hearted attempt at a half-arse, overused joke ever.
johnrdz3 24
You took the phrase "spit it out" to the next level.
EarlFug 19
Oof, I don't know if it's possible to come back from that. Unless you're James Bond and she's the coolest chick ever.
dagarr 11
Well hope she did not mind it
whitnayfortooh 29
wow op. that's terrible..fyl!!
nandybear 19
I don't think you'll be getting a second date.
fpants2010 18
I like to think she'd be understanding that it was not on purpose! Good luck getting that second date OP :)