Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
starbucksguy 16
Harsh...but come on, how much did you pay?
shift_love 13
Ahhhh dear old dad. Always love to make a mockery of his sons sex life.
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Comments (92)
perdix 31
Twenty bucks for a ********, but 50 euros for a hickey. It makes no cents.
Monkeybuttcream 4
Well played. Answer: The price doubles when your family?
Arrawyn 12
Dick move from your dad. You must have had a shitty childhood
lizzienderek 4
You are so lucky.... My dad would kick him out, My mom would of hit me with whatever she had on her hand( like a belt, broom, Or spoon), and My parents would have a family meeting with his parents
TheUnknown_fml 9
Well, calculate all the cost of food you paid for her+flowers+gifts+gas.
BostonBear 33
good point
Zangetsu67 5
Ooh, burn man, that sucks
Omnomnomnivore 10
You're dad sounds awesome
groupleader 7
Everyone thinks he was joking. Maybe she looked like as hooker. Maybe dad picked her up before. this one needs clarification. please op, post how much you paid for her so we can put this one to rest.
MidnaLink 35
35 Money Pun!!!!
UnholyAlpaka12 12
Maybe she was paying you....
PYLrulz 17
It was an YDI until your dad asked that. Then it reverted to a FYL