Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, then I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said, “I wanted to try something new.” FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
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Top comments
hemiol 30
Why not both?
Scarylizard1798 23
Priorities lol
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Comments (49)
Yudith_fml 11
Was he watching a cheesy chick flick while eating it?
cuz803 46
He obviously is very sensitive when eating ice cream. He has priorities
loxe_fml 15
Cherish that relationship
species4872 20
Easy
Red_Ralph 16
Looks like your going down a "rocky road" in your relationship.
Talented73 54
"Going down" ain't got nothing to do with it -- unless it's going to be on a tub of ice cream!
vegantreegirl 26
There needs to be an "awkward" button for FMLs like this...
Talented73 54
I agree. As a vegan, it must be awkward to deal with people who indulge in dairy products :-)
MessedUpLife00 13
@29 Just because you believe that you shouldn't eat or drink animal byproducts, or anything like that, doesn't mean that everyone else should stop. It's our choice, and you have no right to try and control what we put inside our bodies. I don't care if you are vegan, don't try to put others down for not being like you!
Letters_numbers 2
@29 I am going to get extra bacon on my cheeseburger today, just because I saw your judgmental comment. I think I am going to make that a thing from now on. Maybe I will get a large milkshake too. I can think of no more noble a cause than pissing judgmental vegans off.
_caitlyn992 6
Pretty sure #29 was referring to #18's username...
justplainawkwrd 22
Honestly, I mean fyl OP, but I think this should probably be a Health category kind of post. That's a special kind of skill he has.
MoroseMoose 47
Did he at least share?
kowsee 22
I giggled
Bloodyskull 13
This man is my hero.