Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML
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Top comments
AquaRevolver 0
That's gotta suck... but maybe you should remember the swallowing mechanism for next time lol!
PotatoBlankey39 2
ha ha... One of those stupid things in life that just have to happen. I'm sorry. Think of it this way, it always could have been worse. Good luck next time!
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Comments (115)
sydney9_fml 0
I was JUST thinking of that #19! :)...
Sucks2beYouxD 0
Indeed, this reminds me of Harry Potter.
Lamia_fml 0
reminds me of Harry Potter when Cho Chang smiled at him :)
ultraslick 0
Make sure you remember to breathe in 5 seconds.
_cheeseballs 0
Harry potteeerrrrrrrrr.
newguy_fml 0
"I forgot to swallow" yeah, eating is hard and stuff
rukusrazor 0
Just don't forget to swallow other things, if ya know what I mean. Oooooooh! (said in horrible Andrew Dice Clay way)
jay_lawrence 0
#14 lol...maybe nextime you wont forget
lovell_says_hey 0
hahaha don't worry about it. if he freaked out over something like that, he's totally not worth it. that happens to everyone & probably even happened to him before you looked at him lol.
Gulsah 0
how do forget to swallow?? u should always swalllow..in any circumstances hahah