Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML
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Top comments
AquaRevolver 0
That's gotta suck... but maybe you should remember the swallowing mechanism for next time lol!
PotatoBlankey39 2
ha ha... One of those stupid things in life that just have to happen. I'm sorry. Think of it this way, it always could have been worse. Good luck next time!
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Comments (115)
Glam_fml 0
That must have been one sexy guy if he made you forget to swallow! Ahaha. Swallow. ********. Sorry, I'm a perv.
Tehalon 0
I think he was waving for a waiter if anything.
effmuhlyf3 0
say youre addicted to gatorade. so addicted its sickning. and you have these random outbursts when the gatorade just seeps out of your skin in random areas through the day. this time it just happened to be your mouth :) the worst that can happen is hell be like "awe, shes so...um....well.... check please? **** this im bouncin."
sarahbear992 6
this is literally the stupidest comment I've ever read.. find another hobby for everyone else's sake.
Bloodrush 0
he probably doesnt want you anymore because you dont swallow
purple_riot 0
He might like that your shirt was wet!
rachelbrianna25 0
hahaha. oh, that's awesome! so you 2 hook up & drool together?
catatonicsleep 17
could have been worse.. you could have dribbled food down your shirt like soup....
Siren_00 0
That happened in the HP4 film with pumpkin juice! Wow, I'm a nerd. You doing that is understandable though. Add: #11 made me laugh. :) So true.
Lollieolly 0
Reminds me of harry potter and the order of the phoenix movie... But to be honest with you, I've done it too - totally humiliating... *edit* no doubt got the wrong film there =]
Pirate_argh 6
#19 is was thinking of the exact same thing :D