Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
Yeah. If you lie too long in a sun-bed, you can get sunburn. If you didn't know that, you're probably not old enough to show your butt to your boyfriend.
margxoxo 0
should have got out earlier.. you shouldn't risk cancer though. fyl.
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Comments (99)
karlag2689 3
ydi for not going outside and doing it naturally. atleast outside won't give you cancer in 2.3 seconds.
sharpl916 0
Ooooooh!! I likes peeling dead skins! One time I peeled my entire hand's skin off! I gotta love my local bugs feasting on me dead skin.
pfunk129 1
I'm sure he'll put some "lotion" on your bum cheeks. especially after six months.
JonathanRawr 0
hahahaha
PurpleLlamas 0
ydi for not doing it the real way...but nice buns-pun intended
PurpleLlamas 0
29-if i know what you said...EWW!! and dafp
wheatie 0
you deserve that soo much..
Ieat3gnomes 0
YDI x 1000000
DeathSticks 0
The females hind quarters shine a bright red, to signal the male that she is ready.
CallMeHush 1
Like those monkeys with the red asses?
godofcyanide 8
WIN. (OP, YDI immensely for abject foolishness.)
wreckem881 0
33 you look like a ******* infant, no offense though
CallMeHush 1
Imagine all that special time peeling your ass together.
CommentExplainer 0
If he roasts his weenie y'all can make a hot dog
ndizzle 0
Still laughing as I type this. Well done!
rikard_fml 0
42 and u look like a drugie, still no offense right?