Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AntoshaChekhonte 6
Um, I hope you went to help. I'm no fan of blood, asses, or bosses, but it's really some human decency. **** your life and all, but **** her life even more. How humiliated do you think she was that she had to call you for help?
CaptainPickles72 18
I would've asked for a raise first.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (165)
Sheilatakeabow 0
If her arse is bleeding, why would she ring you as opposed to a doctor or if it was really bad, 999? That sounds like an awkward situation. You should have asked for a raise.
Sheilatakeabow 0
If her arse is bleeding, she should call a doctor or, because it seems pretty serious, 999. I hope she's okay.
vianetvargas12 0
uhh obviously she was embarrased!
intheboot 0
unless you happen to be studying proctology and she knew that, she should be calling an ambulance.
Person1233 13
Embarrassed? The ****. Her ass is BLEEDING. Who cares about their dignity when they can bleed out their damn ass?
procrastibating 0
51i no what you did btw awkward fml.
procrastibating 0
Fombutton! ¡
davek 36
This sounds like an episode of South Park.
simsimma88 0
this should be her fml not yours
Hawkcody1958 1
omg I hope you called 911, that sounds serious,