Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
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Top comments
AntoshaChekhonte 6
Um, I hope you went to help. I'm no fan of blood, asses, or bosses, but it's really some human decency. **** your life and all, but **** her life even more. How humiliated do you think she was that she had to call you for help?
CaptainPickles72 18
I would've asked for a raise first.
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Comments (165)
procrastibating 0
Anal beads obviously started the bleeding might wanna tell her she needs to stop or she might grow a penis and start flying. :o
annigotammo 1
WTF?!
LoveULolJk 0
Yes but you have to understand the basics of grammer to be literate, am I correct? even though I disagree with beibs comment, because it was probably a typo, but I would have to say you need the basics of a language to be literate. please don't comment on my spelling...yes I know I suck at spelling :P
howler2345 0
Hey, don't bitch about literacy when you can't even spell grammar. OK?
oxAshleAxo 8
but seriously.. how is she supposed to help? other than calling 911 for her, which she could have done herself, WHICH would have saved quite a bit of embarassment for everyone. no?
LoveULolJk 0
I understand it would be uncomfortable for OP but imagine her boss? although that wouldn't want to make ME help her...I would call some help haha
jbluebird923 0
hahahaha
xdust 4
I smell a promotion!
stephanyk2 7
you are such a jerk to ask for sympathy for something that happened to HER, I hope someday you are in the same situation.
roydawgg 3
call 911 you selfish asshole
kazzz23 0
reminds me of The Office(in a way). o.o