Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my mom had been telling everyone how independent I was and just wanted to be left alone. I was homeless when I graduated valedictorian from high school and wondering why no one would let me stay with them, even when it was snowing. Now I know. FML
Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML
Today, I called my mom while she was out of town and confessed how I have been depressed lately and thinking suicidal thoughts. After my long sob story, she took a breath and said, "OK, just make sure you don't forget to take the dogs out." FML
Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML
Today, I dropped out of college and moved back home to help my mom take care of my younger siblings after our father's death. My mom yelled at me and scolded me and lectured me for throwing my life away, and said this was the last thing she ever wanted me to do. I thought she needed help. FML
Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
Today, my mom was helping me plan for going to college. After 30 minutes of me getting more upset, and her getting more frustrated, she directed me to Tinder, a wedding venue website, and the local address for Planned Parenthood. Her actual words were, "There's no shame in being a stay at home dad these days." FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for taking too long at a job interview, and that it was a waste of her time to drive me to it. I just quit my job, moved away from my boyfriend and the coast to help take care of her in Idaho. FML
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Top comments
blcksocks 19
Please don't bring the innocent pillow sham into this.
iarefatal 9
I feel like she is trying to tell you something OP, and she isn't being very subtle.
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Comments (70)
seansbro56 10
It is okay she is obviously just kidding. She still loves you.
Schizomaniac 24
She didn't want you to come home to see the appliances in knitted cl- NO. I will not succumb to this referencing previous FMLs bullshit. It's overused now.
micah9794 4
Wow makes me glad to at least have a 30' camper trailer to go to.
TheWorldGreatest 8
Please don't worry about your mom, I'm sure you can go back home. Sometimes mothers can be down right mean . I'm sure your mother doesn't want you in a homeless shelter ! Have a happy new year and god bless you !
TheWorldGreatest 8
Holy cow what the hell is wrong with this comment? I said nothing wrong !
5280420 13
Maybe it's time to figure out how to support yourself?
JanisEvans 10
I'm guessing you're old enough to support yourself? So there. That.
Vidrill 22
Even when someone is old enough, doesn't mean they should be left in the street if things don't work out for them.... if your parents don't support you, who will?
TheDrifter 24
I do believe that the idea is for OP to learn to do it on their own. Children have to grow up eventually.
nickob96 25
Love you too mom!!! Rofl!!!
kwyk 23
One way to learn to swim is by jumping in at the deep end and kicking for your life... better tried if someone is watching though.
GTAmax99 12
Whenever I go back home, there's always an available trash can to sleep in!
Epikouros 32
Isn't it warm enough to sleep outside in Florida?
Enslaved 38
Yep, it is but be aware that an endless number of homeless people may come by and steal your stuff while you're sleeping and some might eat your face off. :P
Epikouros 32
LOL, I forgot about the face-eaters. And the alligators.
kc1997kc 9
It's unhealthy to sleep outside here for too many days in a row because of the heat. Depending on how used to it you are you are at risk of heat stroke. It's like 89 now and it's after dark.
Thisfreakingguy 10
On top of that, mosquitoes in florida are awful!