Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I was in the middle of my workout when my cat meowed so loudly, it startled me into dropping a 50-pound weight onto my foot. FML
Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML
Today, I tried to put my reclining chair back. My cat and dog were sitting on the very top. It went up in an unexpectedly forceful manner, sending them flying, causing my dog to fall, and my cat to cling for dear life. FML
Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML
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Top comments
applecaketree 0
Your cat needs to diet!
TheBrickWithouse 10
I've been there. it definitely sucks. FYL.
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Comments (147)
sxe_beast 11
Did it hurt?
yomommma 6
No it felt good.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
I'm pretty sure it did but you can try it to find out.....dumbass
TheBrickWithouse 10
I've been there. it definitely sucks. FYL.
jtoy 0
Same :/ worse feeling ever
enonymous 9
Throw some iodine on that bitch and man or woman the **** up. Back in my day we would amputate for everything and that's how we liked it... We loved it.
ScaughtieHolden 11
YDI, 17lbs? F the cats life. You need to put it on a diet.
hcs4life21 0
39 - If you've ever been clawed by a cat you'd know that you can't just "man the **** up". That shit can hurt!
WishResign 0
another reason why dogs >>> cats
hemz_fml 13
LOL
snickersxx 0
I think you got it wrong 84. It's cats>>>>>>>dogs.
damnalltheasshol 0
107 your wrong dogs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>cats
idontcare8l 3
63 - my cat is 25 pounds , wtf is in his cat food!
PrimeStarscream 30
Ouch. I hope you have enough bandages.
applecaketree 0
Your cat needs to diet!
aceingit 0
Is your cat orange and loves to eat lasagna?
mynameis1339 0
^ -_-
kameryn25 3
more like the OP needs to stop feeding the cat bon bon's. definitely a YDI cats don't get that big on their own.
clancey6 4
Diet- Did I Eat That? Lol..
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Cats can get way bigger than that just on cat food alone, plus it depends on the breed. Even if it is fat, the op shouldn't have to spend 5x as much for diet cat food and hours every day for it's exercise. Plus fat cats are cute :D
fuhkinsupah 0
i iz b a troll, your pic makes me want to punch you in the face
landonlasater 3
my maine coon cat is 24 pounds and he's still skinny
MerrikBarbarian 9
if cat is a mainecoone or savannah, 17lbs could be healthy or even underweight. British short hairs are pretty heafty cats too.
kameryn25 3
I'd have to agree with 93 and 80 who said anything about diet cat food the op would actually spend less money by feeding the cat less or by going all natural and letting the cat fend for himself. And by the context of the FML it would seem the OP is alluding to the fact that his cat is bigger than average otherwise this wouldn't be an FML.
The_Unlucky1 19
Actually there is a species of cat called a Maine coon and they usually get to be about that size. I personally have one. He's only about 6 months old and weighs about 9 pounds.
laurenzo16 0
Get it's claws removed :)
ariannaimelda 7
That's the equivalent of a human having their fingernails removed. A simple trim would suffice, don't torture the poor thing.
kaykay20 0
I think clipping them to make them shorter would be better then removing them completely.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Looking a bit too excited there, pink buddy.
kindgremlin 5
It is actually worse than getting your nails removed. You have to remove the first bone of the digit, like us losing our first knuckle. Very gruesome and cats will just starting biting more to defend themselves!
12em12 1
This comment makes Mr.Fluffykins mad, and when Mr.Fluffykins is mad,I am mad. And when I get mad, you will never see the end of it.
Synapse_fml 0
pff! its a cat no one cares about its feelings
dre_bro11 12
pff! It's a Synapse, no one cares about it's feelings.
hcs4life21 0
4 - Declawing?! Are you effing kidding me?
ShyAnn29 15
I had one of my cats declawed, not all four feet though, just the front feet, she wasn't any different than other cats. She was an indoor cat
Babalu722 3
synapse, go die
greg84_fml 21
Every time I hear someone complain about how horrible it is to declaw a cat, I want to tell them to go hug a tree. I've had several cats declawed, it's done professional, and only their front pals. The cats have always been fine afterwards. Just spend sometime with your kitties are they are healing and give they the good food.
laurengirl28 0
I agree
cheesepie08 0
yeah! remove its damn claws
lidsthesquid 4
that's like me ripping out you're toenails- I don't think you would like that :)
kindgremlin 5
That is a horrible message you are sending! I have had to unfortunately assist with a declaw, meaning: clamping hemostats on the cats nail base, while the vet separates the first joint from the second. I have also seen declaws that went wrong, where the vet didn't perform it correctly and their jacked up nails grew back into their paws. Horrific and much worse than scratched up furniture. There are other ways around it like Soft Paws, to name one. Side note, I'm not a tree hugger.
nicko_oz 4
if you don't want an animal with claws don't buy an animal with claws. Don't go out of your way to go oh cats > dogs but i hate their claws lets declaw them. you guys suck.. btw to the other person who replied that diet cat food is to expensive and they don't think they owner should have to put hours into exercising their cat that IS exactly what they should do numb nuts. If you own an animal its YOUR responsibility and just because cats can get fat just from eating cat food doesn't mean the owner isn't feeding it too much yes cats can get fatter than that but i hardly consider it healthy. OP Deserves it for having 1 having a cat and 2 making it fat!
BeautifulDemonKP 4
jeez thats painful it sounds like when i was jumping a fence and it had barbed wire on it but i didnt know because it was on the side my leg was cut up it hurt so bad and i didnt have my tetnus shot. FYL OP sorry
kcircuses2 4
wow what a completely irrelevant story
niceNnerdy 5
Go find your own FML.
caity1419 0
Cool story, bro.
regsworld11 2
All your comments are dumb "BeautifulDemon"...
hannahtaskey 9
I still don't understand why that story was necessary to share.
EvilBetcha 5
This one tiiiiime, at band cammmmp...
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
EvilBetcha, you stole my comment XD
subjectdelta2 0
.....I stuck a flute up my...;)
howslife123 0
Get a cat treadmill! They're actually uber fun to watch .. Guess that makes me a hobbit
ajbaby311 5
that must hurt
mynameis1339 0
Well yeah..
UsagiArwen 23
1) Just because a cat is 17lbs doesn't mean this animal needs to diet. My 20 month old cat is about 15lbs of pure muscle. He is NOT fat. He's just very big. 2) How would you like your finger nails or toe nails ripped out? It's a painful thing to do to a cat, and they have to walk on their "fingers" after their claws get ripped out. 17lbs of weight on newly declawed paws is gonna hurt. Furthermore, you don't know the cat's environment. Since the cat has its claws, it's possible the owner lives in an area where the cat goes outside and needs said claws in order to defend itself. That totally sucks, op. I've been there and it hurts like a son-of-a-gun.
nerdness 2
chill!
Mysanitywins 10
Cool story bro.
niceNnerdy 5
Nobody's going to read a cat grooming speech on FML. Try pussy.com.
randomchick15 0
Take a chill pill
Beck2209 0
TLDR
Isoldael 27
Cats always walk on their "fingers", not on their nails. They retract their claws while walking (like any cat except the cheetah). Anyhow, removing their nails is still a cruel practice, just not for that reason.
RileyL29 0
lol @11.. 15 pounds "of pure muscle" doesn't sound like any cat ik.
smashgrab 0
For some reason, I want to call BS on the '15 pounds of pure muscle' thing... What kind of cat would that be? A cross breed of house cat & mountain lion? A 17 pound housecat is almost certianly fat, and needs to go on a diet.
Captain0bv10us 0
11 - nice essay?
deefan101 11
STFU! Know one want to hear about your fat-ass cat. Which it is clearly impossible to have pure muscle! Get a life and stop making up BS!
NAU_future 7
I believe "15 lbs of pure muscle." I had a cat who was a stray that we picked up, starved and bone thin who weighed in at 13lbs. When he was healthy he was 20+.
likerawrandstuff 0
15 Pounds Of Pure Mustle Huh.? If Yer So Proud Of it Put Him In The Hello Kitty Olympics.! Oh Wait, They Dont Have That. Cuz I Havent Seen A Normal House Cat Have 15 Pounds Of pure Mustle Cool Story Broha.
geeksaresexy 18
My cat is about 20lbs but he is a really long and thin cat
iSurf_fml 8
"My cat can bench like 10 lbs."
blackwynter 0
I'm guessing you're a crazy cat lady...?
xxdeatheater2672 0
ouch o.o
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Damn that cat needs to lose weight like Jared. Remember subway eat fresh!