Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML
Today, I attempted to have amazing birthday sex with my boyfriend in his dorm room. Everything was going great until we tried switching positions. I hit my head so hard on the bunk above his bed that I gave myself a concussion, and blacked out. Needless to say, the moment was ruined. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Guess he was just that good in bed!!! On a more serious note, I'm hoping you're doing well.
TrustStolen 16
he was probably just proud of himself that he could do that? I guess I'm trying to see the positive side of this
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Comments (64)
ApplePie1994 27
"When your legs don't work like they used to before..."
Jowisee 29
"And I can't sweep you off of your feet"
xmislysx 10
will your mouth still remember the taste of my love ☺️☺️
liv1222 29
"Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?"
ApplePie1994 27
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70 :L
iAlissa 34
Holy shit I thought it was 17 not 70. Guess I need to open my ears
alwaysstabbing 19
you broke the chain
mottos 13
You guys were on a roll...
ApplePie1994 27
BOO! :P
berkeleyjake 13
how do you know he laughed if you were unconscious ?
EmDizzle2007 28
which is the question I had. people on this site are so determined to try and build that karma that they don't even think about the idiocy of some of the stuff that gets posted here.
jaragatha 3
Damn
lulinator 40
Sorry, but I totally would have laughed too. He did a good job if your legs were that weak though.
captainsmegma 12
You were rode hard and rode well.
bad_boyfriend 10
I had a girlfriend get out of bed after sex and get a cramp in her foot that caused her to fall and hit her head. Just be happy you didn't knock yourself out and have to go to the hospital. No one believes you didn't hit the girl with the giant lump on her head and the concussion.
khorstmye 15
He definitely did something right lol
worldclassrager 41
Was he laughing while you passed out or did he tell you later
earlytermination 34
My guess is that she came to and he was still laughing.
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
Man, he must be good
earlytermination 34
Adding insult to injury--how thoughtful.