Today, a Jehovah's Witness followed me around, talking about Jesus. My dad's a pastor. I hear this stuff all day, every day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door. Normally I don't give them the time of day, but I was so lonely for company, I let them in. FML
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML
Today, my parents were watching videos of police officers dealing with stubborn suspects. I overheard my mom saying, "It's like a Christian trying to argue with an atheist about God" and my dad agreed. Good to know that they're still as intolerant as ever, and it will never be safe for me to come out as an atheist. FML
Today, my daughter was complaining about having no friends. My son told her it’s her own fault for attending church 3 times a week and trying to convert everyone at school like a Jehovah's witness who you can’t shut the door on. He’s 100% right but now she won’t stop crying. FML
Today, I was in the Walmart parking lot listening to some music in my car and some lady comes up to me and say, “Boy, the music you listen to is so unholy, I think you need some Jesus in your life.” FML
Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
I thought that JW's don't believe that Jesus is the Son of God....
sourgirl101 29
It’s the trinity that they don’t believe in. To them Jesus is God’s first begotten son. A separate entity.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
jbuckets_404 39
I thought that JW's don't believe that Jesus is the Son of God....
sourgirl101 29
It’s the trinity that they don’t believe in. To them Jesus is God’s first begotten son. A separate entity.
samomaha 17
JWs believe in Jesus as the son of God and that his life began in heaven. They do not, tho, accept thec oncept of the holy trinity. They don't celebrate Christmas or Easter because to their way of thinking, the birth and resurrection are minor things devolving oujt of ancient pagan festivals or beliefs; his death is the important event.
kujiens101 24
But why do they not celebrate birthdays?
RichardPencil 32
From a social distance, I presume? Just sneeze in your hand and go to shake hands with them. They'll run away -- no one has such faith in their deity's protective power that they'll chance it with the current plague.
DoctorPALO 14
YDI for your attitude.
Keaton Powell 2
I know your pain my dad is a pastor as well
carrs2154 9
Wow. I've only had very polite jehovah's witnesses show up.
BrotherPhil 35
Have you tried introducing them to your father?
coius 23
I’ll see your issue, and raise you a religious divorce. Look up LeDoux vs. LeDoux My dad’s a JW. Mom was a devout catholic. My life was/is hell
kujiens101 24
So, after reading that court case, you must be Peter, right?