Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
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Top comments
Ninjaface 0
You reply by screwing her brains out then and there. That way you're killing two birds with one stone: you get laid and she shuts up.
nokillnobeepbeep 0
How do you reply? You do her right there. Hard. Most women like to be ravaged. Stop being such a pansy.
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Comments (66)
TC_Ultimate 3
Viagra.
The_9th_Doctor 18
you like being yelled at. tell her that.
cwl727 33
reply by telling her you are hard
DalekWarrior26 9
dear op next time grab her head and put it on your lap shuts her up and helps both of you out -ps any tumblr users don't freak out it's a joke